‘Josh Fryden-burgers and Penne Wong’: How to host an election party

You also want some spirits in readiness for if your side wins … and a lot if they do not.

Everything is fun and games until someone loses …

Before announcing the result, entertain your guests with a few games.

Hall has plans for one called ‘I do not hold a hose’ where guests send around a hose length to the song April sun in Cubainfamously covered by Prime Minister Scott Morrison on 60 minutes (to the dismay of its original author, Dragon, and the Nation).

The 1976 film Don’s Party saw the Labor-backed masses fight with liberal voters after the ALP lost an election.

When the music stops, the one who is left holding the hose is out, and everyone else has to shout Morrison’s much-mocked quote: “I’m not holding a hose, buddy!”

“It’s basically like a mix of pass the package and musical chairs,” Hall explained.

Her brother also invents some bingo cards every time someone uses the word “unsurpassed”, says ABC political expert Antony Green “bellwether”, a losing candidate has his party leader torn down or a teal candidate wins. Someone on Reddit has generously made an Antony Green bingo card or The monthly book have one here.

Dress up!

You can go dressed as a daggy dad or bulldozer to honor the Prime Minister’s latest pivot or your interpretation of a gigantic assault to emulate opposition leader Anthony Albanese’s early stumbles.

Or, like Hall, you can simply ask your guests to wear the colors of the party they support. She expects a sea of ​​red, with a splash of blue, a hint of green and a few dots of teal.

Which brings us to …

Albo scarfing a snag song on the campaign track recently.

Albo scarfing a snag song on the campaign track recently.Credit:Alex Ellinghausen

Get the right mix of people

Halls shindig will be a “pretty left-handed event” with mostly artists and teachers, but there will be some dissenting voices.

This can be an explosive mix. For those who remember the 1976 film Don’s partythe ALP-supporting masses clash with liberal voters after Labor lost the 1969 election.

Hall is well aware of this danger: “I have called it Fion’s party, but we really hope it does not end with Libs getting up like Don’s party.”

She only welcomes coalition supporters who are willing to play nice or, as in the case of a friend’s man, they are banned.

A Liberal voter who joined the party, Michael, who did not want to give his last name, said he planned to keep his views to himself to avoid the wrath of Labor supporters.

“When Antony Green calls it, I can call it that too,” he said. “I’m not going to … jump on the couch and start shouting ‘how good Australia is!’

But you might like some discussion at your party (hopefully not a shouting competition as the nine debate).

Scott Morrison has a crack on a sausage.

Scott Morrison has a crack on a sausage.Credit:Alex Ellinghausen

Inviting friends with opposing political views can add some entertainment if the bill drags on. In addition, crocheting the other team is an integral part of Australian sport.

Be prepared to wait

The champagne may need to stay on ice if there is no clear result at night.


Strangely enough, about 2 million of the country’s 17.2 million registered voters give up a democracy sausage – and hours in a row in the cold on election day – by early voting.

A significant proportion of the votes may not be counted on 21 May. In this case, you can instead throw up the party, invest in long-distance and extend the party with a whole weekend – or more.

For Hall, the stakes are high for a clear winner, as it is her birthday.

“I really want Labor to stand up,” she said. “[If not]I might just get a tantrum at my own birthday party and go to bed. ”

And if Labor wins?

“It will kick start to the next level,” she said. “There will be dancing on the countertops in the kitchen.”

Cut through the noise of the federal election campaign with news, views and expert analysis from Jacqueline Maley. Sign up for our Australia Votes 2022 newsletter here.

Leave a Comment